Hall of Kings

All people of the kingdom must loudly bumpith Runnith the Jewels albums 1-3.

All children 12 years and older must eat the magic purple mushrooms that growith on the fence line behind the castle.

Free Mead for all Man, Woman, and Child!

Always be happy, but never be satisfied. Never extinguish the light of intellectual curiosity. Fight for what you believe.

An idiot repeats his mistakes. A smart man learns from his mistakes. But a genius learns from the mistakes of others. Who do you want to be?

The Lady Sarah shall never have to clean a bathroom again, as long as the she keeps the rest of the house clean and hires a maid.

December 28th is officially Lemon Exchange Day. Give a lemon to a person who means a lot to you.

Today is a day of rest. Kick back, eat a snack, there's a reason you're not king 'cause you don't know jack.

I hereby decree that Times New Roman in the official Font of the Sensible Castle.

Cheese Fries or the national food of Sensible Castle.

I hereby decree that the eating of anything from the Sea is banned and punishable by law.

The national animal of Sensible Castle is the platypus.

Any Kings who hate Star Wars will be executed for war crimes.

I hereby decree anyone who listens to Dave Matthews Band be banished from the kingdom.

I am hereby King for eternity.

The National Number is now 314 forevermore.

The Dodgers have just been retroactively given every World Series title in history.

Sir Hedrick the Lion has just been named the new national mascot.

Everyone gets a day off to celebrate my reign

Everyone gets to have sex during my reign

Everyone party on Fire Island

All will bow to the power of The Big Lebowski

The national anthem of Sensible Castle will be Everybody Dance Now

When one mentions the word "hunger" all must respond with How may I serve you.

The whole of Sensible Castle shall "Pony Up".

No the national anthem will be Wildside by Marky Mark and the Funky Bunch

Sasquatch is Sensible Castle's Royal Beast

Everyone who enters the sensible castle shall be nice to each other

Treating the planet and it's creatures with respect is a law of the castle

No one shall wake up before 10am in all the land and bed time doesn't exist!

Hedgehogs shall be national animal of the kingdom

On Wednesday's the kingdom shall wear pink

Only tacos shall be served on tuesdays

Pants must not be worn in my presence. People named Steve are exempt. People named George are banned from removing their pants.

Underwear usage while without pants is now required, lest you have your junk royally judged at the risk of offending your way to the gallows

Brawndo The Thirst Mutilator is now the official universal solvent of the land. It's got electrolytes. Georges and Steves are banned from it

Failure to use turn signals is punishable by a marathon of Tim Allen Christmas specials.

Any and all references to Month Python movies are to be used as frequently as possible.

The next internet fad will be named after me.

Bitches shall be provided to all if the Emperor is still ruling in 4 minutes time.

The Sloth is the national animal

Any and all anime shall be banned as it was a grave mistake that we all have made...

All subjects of Sensible Castle are now ruled by our benevolent cat overlords. All hail their fury majesty.

Randy has been promoted to Associate Trailer Park Supervisor.

Chris Farley has been resurrected by the wizards of Sensible Castle and will now serve as court jester.

I hereby decree that each person is to be issued dark sea salt chocolates, a dirty chai and one fluffy kitten daily as needed.

The national anthem of Sensible Castle will be You Sexy Thing - Hot Chocolate.

I hereby decree that each castle room will have at least one full champagne bottle available to all guests.

All cats will be regarded as overlords of the land and treated as such.

The Iowa Hawkeyes will be the official football team of The Sensible Castle. No other team than the Iowa Hawkeyes may be cheered for.

All who live within The Sensible Castle will expect the Spanish Inquisition

The national anthem of Sensible Castle is "Burning Down The House" by the Talking Heads.

Everyone born to the Sensible Castle family shall experience love and happiness for all their days and nights unless they eat green peppers.

A Royal Parade shall occur each week on NoWorkDay, formerly known as Friday, passing by every Royal Wine and Beer Pub where all shall quaff.

Halsey is the national artist of Sensible Castle

It is encouraged that everyone's favorite day of the year be July 18th

Everybody get turnt

Apple pie may not be served without Cheese!

The national condiment of Sensible Castle is Mustard. Ketchup has been banned!!!

From now on Mondays will be called Taco Tuesday! Tuesdays will still be called Tuesday.

Sustainable pork production shall be the main export of our kingdom. Eat and enjoy the products that are produced.

Family and friends will all gather and sleep in honor of this coronation!! Seriously get back to bed you sneaky assassins.

Upon the end of the reign all shall go back to bed-if they were awake-but continue to refer to me as the former Maharaja of Sensible Castle.