Hall of Kings

8 black red

King Schmeve The Chaotic Good

Tube socks must be worn on every Two Time Tube Socks Taco Tradition Tuesday! All who disobey must take a shot!

I hereby decree that Brost can only take shots for the Juervo Cuervo Shot Glass.

I hereby decree that Drunk Driving (Mario Kart 64 while drinking) is the national game of Sensible Castle!

4:24 pm CST
December 30, 2016
2 white green

King Thaddeus The Distracted

I hereby declare that "Pants are optional."

I hereby declare that all shinny objects must be looked at and admired, no matter what you are doing.

I hereby declare that naps are the national pastime.

4:12 pm CST
December 30, 2016
2 white orange

King Sean , Champion of the Frozen Wastes

All those who step upon the lands of Sensible Castle shall adorn themselves in garments of the color orange.

The proper greeting when meeting the king shall be: "Beard be upon you."

Upon pain of death all towels sold for the purposes of decorating the castle for a holiday shall be absorbent.

3:45 pm CST
December 30, 2016
3 white green

King Donna The Terrible

Bras are an optional item of clothing in Sensible Castle.

The crow is the national bird of Sensible Castle.

I hereby decree popcorn,with or without M&Ms, is an acceptable dinner.

3:36 pm CST
December 30, 2016
4 black purple

Queen KEENA The Sexy




3:21 pm CST
December 30, 2016
8 black yellow

Lord Hunter Roth The Mediocre

Deez Nutz

Bofa Deez Nutz


2:06 pm CST
December 30, 2016
5 white red

Saint Duane The Flatulent

I hereby decree that Foosball is the national sport of Sensible Castle.

I hereby decree that all titles heretofore promised and granted by me in my Order shall be fully vested in my subjects.

I hereby decree that in Sensible Castle, Knowing is Both Halves of the Battle.

2:00 pm CST
December 30, 2016
5 white red

Lord Gregg The Wise

His Lordship, Gregg, hereby decrees that all hearts shall be filled with hope and messages of hate and doubt are no longer permitted.

To all who are hungry, the Kingdom of the White Castle shall offer free burgers.

A year of favor is hereby granted to all of my subjects--all debts are forgiven and all shall engage in relaxation for this year.

1:54 pm CST
December 30, 2016
1 black blue

King Brandon The Flatulent

Farting while on an elevator is now an arrest-able offense.

Everyone must walk like an Egyptian when on Sensible Castle grounds.

It is the responsibility of every citizen to determine how much wood a wood chuck would chuck if he could chuck wood.

1:42 pm CST
December 30, 2016
8 black purple

Lady Willa The Nutritious

Social "Experiments" that threaten people or artwork to make some dumb-ass point are hereby outlawed.

Our national motto is "Don't be an asshole."

Our national bard is Arlo Guthrie the Wise.

1:36 pm CST
December 30, 2016
3 black green

Baron David The Ambidextrous

All who "Double Dip" shall be double dipped themselves in Acid

Any time the phrase "Never gonna give you up" is uttered, whomever is nearby must reply with "Never gonna let you down"

No more beloved talent is allowed to die this year, so it has been decreed, it must be obeyed.

1:09 pm CST
December 30, 2016
7 black green

Lord Adam The Jew

The national food is Pizza, which shall be paid for by the tears of peasants.

Everyone must be forced to watch at least one our or cringeworthy training videos.

No one shall be forced to go to school on the 3rd of May, every year.

1:03 pm CST
December 30, 2016
2 black yellow

King David The Ambidextrous

Reinstate any invalidated decrees.

Double any numeric values in all other decrees, past and future.

This castle shall henceforth be referred to in all texts as Elbisnes.

1:00 pm CST
December 30, 2016
3 white blue

Queen Sara The Passive-Aggressive

The grout shall be cleaned, Mary

The words moist, damp, and soggy shall be struck from all dictionaries.

Get some water or something

12:48 pm CST
December 30, 2016
4 black purple

Garbageman Newspaper The Vagina

According to all known laws of aviation, there is no way a bee should be able to fly. Its wings are too small to get its fat little body

ff the ground. The bee, of course, flies anyway because bees don't care what humans think is impossible. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yel

low, black. Yellow, black. Ooh, black and yellow! Let's shake it up a little. Barry! Breakfast is ready! Ooming! Hang on a second. Hello? -B

12:45 pm CST
December 30, 2016
3 black red

Queen Tricia The Chaotic Good

I hereby decree that taxes will be assessed according to level of asshat-ness. Be an asshat and pay the price.

I hereby declare that weekends in this kingdom will last 3 days.

I hereby decree that the official mode of transport in our kingdom is via squire-aided coconut.

12:27 pm CST
December 30, 2016
1 black green

Empress Ari The Unready

I'm black y'all, and I'm black y'all And I'm blackety black and I'm black y'all (CB4)

The Blues Brothers movie shall play continuously throughout my reign.

Pay it forward.

12:21 pm CST
December 30, 2016
3 black yellow

Empress Danni The Awesome and The Hungry

Chris Hemsworth, Gerard Butler, Benedict Cumberbatch, and Tom Hardy must fight to the death for my hand in marriage. Naked.

The Muppets shall henceforth be considered National treasures and the Queen's most-trusted advisors.


12:00 pm CST
December 30, 2016
1 black blue

Queen Randi The Wise

Dark chocolate and peach pie are the official foods of Sensible Castle.

The film "Cinema Paradiso" will be shown 'round the clock, in perpetuity, in the grand screening room at Sensible Castle.

I hereby decree that there will no longer be bugs, spiders, greedy people, snow, or disease anywhere.

11:54 am CST
December 30, 2016
4 black blue

King Andy The Shitfaced

Take a shot @11:36 am CST

Pound a beer @11:37 am CST

Cheers with a glass of champagne! @11:38 am CST

11:36 am CST
December 30, 2016
3 black red

King Cassie The Gay

All clocks are to be set to 4:20 for the remainder of my rule

Pokemon is completely illegal and any thoughts of the subject will be punishable by extremely uncomfortable tickle torture

Everyone must now scream as if they are trying to go super saiyan

11:27 am CST
December 30, 2016