Tube socks must be worn on every Two Time Tube Socks Taco Tradition Tuesday! All who disobey must take a shot!
I hereby decree that Brost can only take shots for the Juervo Cuervo Shot Glass.
I hereby decree that Drunk Driving (Mario Kart 64 while drinking) is the national game of Sensible Castle!
I hereby declare that "Pants are optional."
I hereby declare that all shinny objects must be looked at and admired, no matter what you are doing.
I hereby declare that naps are the national pastime.
All those who step upon the lands of Sensible Castle shall adorn themselves in garments of the color orange.
The proper greeting when meeting the king shall be: "Beard be upon you."
Upon pain of death all towels sold for the purposes of decorating the castle for a holiday shall be absorbent.
Bras are an optional item of clothing in Sensible Castle.
The crow is the national bird of Sensible Castle.
I hereby decree popcorn,with or without M&Ms, is an acceptable dinner.
YOU CAN ONLY DRIVE FORD VEHICLES
Bofa Deez Nutz
I hereby decree that Foosball is the national sport of Sensible Castle.
I hereby decree that all titles heretofore promised and granted by me in my Order shall be fully vested in my subjects.
I hereby decree that in Sensible Castle, Knowing is Both Halves of the Battle.
His Lordship, Gregg, hereby decrees that all hearts shall be filled with hope and messages of hate and doubt are no longer permitted.
To all who are hungry, the Kingdom of the White Castle shall offer free burgers.
A year of favor is hereby granted to all of my subjects--all debts are forgiven and all shall engage in relaxation for this year.
Farting while on an elevator is now an arrest-able offense.
Everyone must walk like an Egyptian when on Sensible Castle grounds.
It is the responsibility of every citizen to determine how much wood a wood chuck would chuck if he could chuck wood.
Social "Experiments" that threaten people or artwork to make some dumb-ass point are hereby outlawed.
Our national motto is "Don't be an asshole."
Our national bard is Arlo Guthrie the Wise.
All who "Double Dip" shall be double dipped themselves in Acid
Any time the phrase "Never gonna give you up" is uttered, whomever is nearby must reply with "Never gonna let you down"
No more beloved talent is allowed to die this year, so it has been decreed, it must be obeyed.
The national food is Pizza, which shall be paid for by the tears of peasants.
Everyone must be forced to watch at least one our or cringeworthy training videos.
No one shall be forced to go to school on the 3rd of May, every year.
Reinstate any invalidated decrees.
Double any numeric values in all other decrees, past and future.
This castle shall henceforth be referred to in all texts as Elbisnes.
The grout shall be cleaned, Mary
The words moist, damp, and soggy shall be struck from all dictionaries.
Get some water or something
According to all known laws of aviation, there is no way a bee should be able to fly. Its wings are too small to get its fat little body
ff the ground. The bee, of course, flies anyway because bees don't care what humans think is impossible. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yel
low, black. Yellow, black. Ooh, black and yellow! Let's shake it up a little. Barry! Breakfast is ready! Ooming! Hang on a second. Hello? -B
I hereby decree that taxes will be assessed according to level of asshat-ness. Be an asshat and pay the price.
I hereby declare that weekends in this kingdom will last 3 days.
I hereby decree that the official mode of transport in our kingdom is via squire-aided coconut.
I'm black y'all, and I'm black y'all And I'm blackety black and I'm black y'all (CB4)
The Blues Brothers movie shall play continuously throughout my reign.
Pay it forward.
Chris Hemsworth, Gerard Butler, Benedict Cumberbatch, and Tom Hardy must fight to the death for my hand in marriage. Naked.
The Muppets shall henceforth be considered National treasures and the Queen's most-trusted advisors.
YOU GET A HUMPBACK WHALE! AND YOU GET A HUMPBACK WHALE! EVERYBODY GETS HUMPBACK WHAAAALLLEEES!!!
Dark chocolate and peach pie are the official foods of Sensible Castle.
The film "Cinema Paradiso" will be shown 'round the clock, in perpetuity, in the grand screening room at Sensible Castle.
I hereby decree that there will no longer be bugs, spiders, greedy people, snow, or disease anywhere.
Take a shot @11:36 am CST
Pound a beer @11:37 am CST
Cheers with a glass of champagne! @11:38 am CST
All clocks are to be set to 4:20 for the remainder of my rule
Pokemon is completely illegal and any thoughts of the subject will be punishable by extremely uncomfortable tickle torture
Everyone must now scream as if they are trying to go super saiyan