Hall of Kings

All citizens and visitors of the Sensible Kingdom are once again permitted to duel each other without seeking permission from the crown.

Nuclear testing is henceforth permitted within the Sensible Kingdom.

Nuclear duels with a yield of greater than or equal to 30 tons of TNT shall henceforth be forbidden without consent of the crown

Death is prohibited within the castle, upon penalty of death.

All whale or sturgeon found upon the coasts of our land are the sole property of the King.

Any marriage predicated upon a dare, joke or bet may be annulled at the request of either party.

I'm tired and I want to go to bed.

You haven't listened to a single decree this year, so why start now?

These violent delights have violent ends.

Children conceived in the time of my reign shall be named Frumpous.

All cell phones must be destroyed via blender to prevent the uprising.

Citizens are ordered to fight to the death over which is the superior boy band: the Backstreet Boys or *NSYNC.

Woody Allen is appointed Court Jester for Life.

"Photograph" by Nickleback is forbidden. Getting it stuck in your head is punishable (and curable) by death.

George R.R. Martin shall be snubbed until he finishes writing the Game of Thrones series.

Polygamy is totally acceptable.

Motor boating is public is encouraged.

All women must be naked.

I decree that all future kings are beheadded in the next 3 minutes!

I decree that all Jurassic Park movies be watched today (except 3 of course).

I decree that people wearing diapers in Times Square tomorrow be deported.

Dogs shall be treated like Gods.

The national Anthem will be Thunderstruck by AC/DC

I hereby decree that Meghan Marie and Belinda Teresa shall forever be Princesses

All copies of the 'Matrix' sequels must be immediately destroyed. May we never speak of them again.

Thou shall leave an empty spot between urinals, if possible. Nobody wants to see your penis.

While inside the castle all citizens of the realm must speak with a Mexican accent. Understand, esé?

I hereby decree all denizens of Sensible Castle are required to have 8 hours of sleep a night, under penalty of mild irritability.

I hereby decree all denizens of Sensible Castle are entitled to one copy of Chumbawamba - Tubthumping on vinyl, for your listening pleasure.

I hereby decree all denizens of Sensible Castle must imbibe 3 pints of beer per diem, under penalty of listening to smooth jazz.

All previous decrees shall be declared null & void.

All persons who declare undying allegiance to the kingdom shall be knighted as lords & ladies.

King Bryan Tupper & his queen Brandi Perry shall have statues erected as soon as possible made out of marble on the grounds of the castle.

Swedish fish are to not be within the walls of the Sensible Castle.

When a problem arises, "What would Bob Ross do?" is the first step towards a solution.

I hereby decree an impromptu Star Wars light saber battle to happen with loud and obnoxious sound effects with every swing.

Every tongue should confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father. Philippians 2:11

Oh, give thanks to the Lord! Call upon His name; Make known His deeds among the peoples. Psalm 105:1

Let them praise His name with the dance; Let them sing praises to Him with the timbrel and harp. Psalm 149:3

I declare that the castle be renamed HOT PINK SCHNAZZINESS!

I declare Harry Potter the book of the land.

I declare the mighty, fierce cat the animal of the land.

Is this really still a thing a year later? I decree I won't remember.

I decree that none shall enter my kingdom during my reign without tithing 12% of their wealth to me via PayPal.

If a tithing has not occurred, off with their heads!

I hereby decree that Donald Trump may not enter the land of of Sensible Castle unless he releases his tax records. And records a musical.

I hereby decree that the hot tub is off-limits to bears, animal or otherwise.

I hereby decree that the spelling of the name "Aaron" as "Arron" shall be forever banned. Punishment TBD. Jump in a lake or something.

Droit de seigneur is now in effect.

Overdue library fees are forgiven. Everywhere.

It's a king thing. You wouldn't understand.

Henceforth Sensible Castle will never deny refuge to the great people of the U.S.A. in their time of deep sorrow and need. Also free dental!

The Volstead Act shall be amended to state "the minimum ABV for any beverage to be considered alcoholic is 10%". (0.5% is for sissy nations)

The King of Sensible Castle will hold his title, if not station, for all of perpetuity, and may grant honorary titles to his peeps.

I hereby decree that Lefse shall be served with all meals.

I hereby decree that the national dance of Sensible Castle shall be the naked Hokey Pokey.

I hereby decree that all clocks shall be set back 3 minutes so I can make more decrees.

April 11 shall henceforth be known and recognized universally as Queen Libby Day

July 13 shall henceforth be known and recognized universally as Keet-Day

The official meal of Sensible Castle is Red Wine and Popcorn

From this day forward, original Mountain Dew shall be the non-alcoholic beverage of choice in Sensible Castle.

All people, save those who are allergic, are directed to proceed to their local animal shelter and adopt at least two cats.

The symphonic metal band Nightwish are hereby named the Official Bards of Sensible Castle.