Hall of Kings

8 black purple

Countess Kacey The Passive-Aggressive

Every home is to be endowded with no less than three (3) cats.

The national anthem will henceforth be "Single Ladies" by Beyonce.

I hereby decre that animal crackers will be the national food.

6:03 pm CST
December 29, 2016
3 black purple

King Marta The Terrible

Never go to bed with a itchy butthole... You'll wake up with a stinky finger

Dogs may not molest cars

You must lick it before you stick it

5:57 pm CST
December 29, 2016
3 black red

Lord Bruce The Good

Everyone sing! Thank you for being a friend, Traveled down the road and back again, Your heart is true, you re a pal and a confidant!

"Filled Cupcake Oreos" have a picture of an Oreo-filled cupcake on the package, but in fact contain foul-tasting oreo cookies. For shame!!!!

I nominate Earth Defense Force 4.1 on the PS4 for Game of the Year! That is all.

5:18 pm CST
December 29, 2016
8 white red

Queen Susan The Great

All those that inhabit Sensible Castle must not take themeselves too seriously and appreciate the magic and beauty that exists in the world.

Manners and kindness shall be highly regarded in Sensible Castle. "Please," "thank you,"and "you're welcome" are to be used by all.

I hearny decree that the national beverage of Sensible Castle is coffee and the national cocktail is the gin martini.

4:51 pm CST
December 29, 2016
3 black yellow

Lady Makenzie The Picky

I hereby decree that my son and miniature schnauzer are the prince and princess of Sensible Castle and will be given anything they want.

I hereby decree that the unironic use of "#blessed" shall be a capital offense.

I hereby decree that margaritas will be served with every meal.

4:36 pm CST
December 29, 2016
8 black purple

Empress Robyn The Terrible

The national anthem of Sensible Castle is "Stray Bullet" by KMFDM.

By royal decree, no child under the age of 18 years shall be permitted on Castle grounds. Any found to be present shall be put to death.

The national drink of Sensible Castle is Jack Daniels.

4:12 pm CST
December 29, 2016
3 black blue

Chief John Of the Weasel Folk

All Pop Tarts without frosting are banned from the castle.

I hereby decree all first sips of beer belong to the King.

I decree the next 10 decrees shall be null and void.

3:54 pm CST
December 29, 2016
4 black red

Lady Becky The Irritable

My birthday,January 16,shall be declared a national holiday on which day each citizen shall partake in drunken shenanigans of his/her choice

I hereby declare that beer (especially IPA)is an acceptable breakfast & should be served at all dining establishments that serve breakfast.

I decree that the official song of the Sensible Castle is Escape(the Pina Colada song) by Rupert Holmes & shall be played everyday at 3:12pm

3:12 pm CST
December 29, 2016
3 white blue

Czarina Alex The Cylindrical

All who seek refuge will be welcomed

All who bring games to play will be welcomed

No dragons

2:36 pm CST
December 29, 2016
5 white blue

King Timothy The Chaotic Good

25% of the kingdom's treasury and savings shall be donated to a charity of Cards Against Humanity's choosing.

The remainder of the kingdom's treasury and savings shall be given to King Timothy The Chaotic Good and cannot be voided or overruled.

We shall all celebrate the remainder of the glorious rule of King Timothy by dancing and strutting about to "Staying Alive" by the Bee Gees.

2:21 pm CST
December 29, 2016
3 black blue

Empress Amanda The Wise

I hereby decree that this day shall henceforth be known as Angel's Day. There shall be much rejoicing.

I hereby decree that there is no try, only do or do not. If you strike me down I shall become more powerful then you can possibly imagine

I hereby decree that all subsequent reigns are invalid, for I am the one true King.

2:18 pm CST
December 29, 2016
8 black red

Emperor James The Chaotic Good

The national beverage shall be bourbon

Call to the land for peace and love and full radiation of positivity

2016 shall fuck right off

1:15 pm CST
December 29, 2016
3 white orange

King Kevin The Terrible

No hot dog shall ever be considered, nor referred to as a sandwich.

Turn signals are optional.

It's perfectly fine to wake your boyfriend up with a blowjob.

12:54 pm CST
December 29, 2016
7 black orange

Czar Daren The Distracted

Cheese whiz as castle condiment.

Mary Mary by RUN DMC shall be played through-out the great hall.

Trial by breakdancing is a suitable method of problem resolution.

12:21 pm CST
December 29, 2016
8 black red

King Ryan, Shitter of Bulls , PhD

Access to Guinness is now recognized as a basic human right.

Effective immediately, a standard day shall be exactly one hour long, and that hour shall be happy-hour.

I hereby declare Calculus the official national language, and pajamas the official national costume.

11:27 am CST
December 29, 2016
8 white purple

King William The Jew

The national food of Sensible Castle is sourdough-crust, olive-topped pizza with pesto sauce.

The national anthem of Sensible Castle is "Truckin'" by the Grateful Dead.

I hereby declare that red wine or a hardy stout can be a substitute once per week for the evening meal.

11:18 am CST
December 29, 2016
6 black red

King Marissa The Terrible

I hearby declare Nigel and Pippa as the official Corgis of the Royal Family. Corgis will reign as the only breed the King will acknowledge.

Both November 26th and Thanksgiving will now be known as "Marissa Day" or "King Marissa The Terrible of Dec, 29 2016 10:54-10:57am Day".

Citizens named "Marisa" or "Marrisa" must adapt to the superior spelling of "Marissa" or be sentenced to death by baby crocodiles.

10:54 am CST
December 29, 2016
2 black red

Gaylord John The Phlegmatic

The national beast of Sensible Castle is now the pug dog, aka carlin, aka dutch bulldog, aka bĂȘte chinois, aka teacup mastiff.

I decree that the entire planet is now MacArthur Park, melting in the dark, all the sweet green icing flowing down.

No longer may anyone be pushed, filed, stamped, indexed, briefed, debriefed, or numbered. Be seeing you.

10:39 am CST
December 29, 2016
5 black purple

Queen Lacey The Jew

All dogs entering Sensible Castle are full citizens, with all rights and privileges thereof.

The national dish of Sensible Castle is spaetzle with asiago cheese and mini chocolate chips.

Sexual hang-ups in the pleasure chamber are punishable by death.

10:21 am CST
December 29, 2016
8 black orange

Emperor New Groove The Chaotic Good

No pants are allowed in the King's quarters.

Every minute a chicken and every hour a rooster shall be punted out of the tallest tower to tell time from all over the land.

I decree for more 3 more decrees!

10:09 am CST
December 29, 2016
3 black red

Lord Chris The Irritable

If video games are to be played with the King, he shall triumph each time.

A short excerpt from Rick Astley's 'Never Gonna Give You Up' shall play each morning.

Frozen custard for dinner shan't be frowned upon henceforth.

9:57 am CST
December 29, 2016